Too EarlyIt's too early for me to give her up yet.When I accomplish my goal, I will.See it on the plate.Back away in fear.Embrace this feeling, don't deny it.Just let me be.No food. It's Too Early
The True TruthWhat do you think when you see me?What crosses your mind and scares me?I see the truth, and I am dong something about it.Just let me do it.Should I go soon? I want to.But he and she are stopping me.He because I love him.She because I need her and she loves me.I cling onto her, she is a life line.I wrote to you today, explaining everything.A fat ugly girl is assosiated with you.No wonder you're afraid.I'm so sorry for infecting your life.I'm neglecting it, because I want to.It is the enemy.It populates the world.Soft music drums in my ears.Music of her.Rustling gently in the breeze.Telling me The Truth.
Freedom of the HeartPrecisely freedom, the word means a different thing to us all.For me, freedom is when she and me are alone.Alone to be one, not constricted in the delicate confines of other people's wishes.Not judged by another, just alone with my happiness.Freedom is when you are not around, but also when you are.I don't know what to do with myself.I see you and then I don't.Why can't it be easy?Freedom is seeing you walk away, taking away my breaking heart.Knowing that I am free of the struggles in the start.But to watch you take away the freedom knowing that you're there.It scares me so much.Why can't everybody just live life? Not worrying, not crying.Freedom is a liberty, but also a chore.It is a charmer and a bore.Fighting the temptation to let go.Why can't I let go of you?Why won't you let me have her?Why are you so far away?What is my Freedom of the Heart?
I'm SorryI'm sorry for coming into your life.Making you relive the past.I love you more than I know how to say.This is real life, not folk stories.I'm sorry for letting you down.I'm sorry for making you miserable.Illustrating my flaws and making notes.I miss you.Everything is just so confusing right now.I just don't know what to do.I'm sorry for being alive.I'm sorry for not being dead.So in this final chapter.I love you all.I'm sorry.I'm sorry
Fruit of DarknessHere I am, the Fruit of Darkness.Why would you want to know?What I do in my world?Stay with me tonight, talk to me.I see you most days, what do you think?I'm not looking for attention, just happiness.I will find that with Nexxi.Nothing you can say will take her away.Withered on a sunny day cos you try,To take her away, my only protection.Gone.I'm not falling apart.I will love her forever.She'll make me thin.She'll make this Fruit of Darkness.Happy
Keep MeEver since I've known you, you've had a hold.My life revolves around you. Round and Round.Just showing you the mask, not knowing the truth behind it.Why do you never keep your promises? Why?Living constantly in your shadow, hiding my scars.If you knew things you don't know, you wouldn't keep me.Making up fantasies in my mind, alone with you.You are keeping me.Since I first walked into that room.That fateful three years ago, I saw you and thought nothing of it.How was I to know that this would happen?Keep Me.You don't know it though.I'm condemed and consumed to my guilt.Each painful pang as you walk away.You're keeping me.KeepKeepKeep
Your EyesYour eyes, they tell me no lies.They offer me love, hope and suprise.I always watch them when we're together.I wonder if you watch mine.Yours are the most beautiful blue that I have ever seen.So violent against your skin.Your eyes, they get me through each and everyday.I need your eyes.My eyes are nothing.Just deep and dark.They tell stories of depression and horror.So do yours, but I won't judge, I'll only love.Calming and reflective, your eyes tell me how you are.I know it sounds crazy, but that's the way it is.I need them to lock, to feel the intimacy between us...Lock with me.My eyes and your eyes become one, when we see one another.I look away, but I feel you looking at me.Locking all the time, never letting go.Never letting go...Your eyes
Thin Is InThin is the new beautiful.It is the new drug on the market.I won't fall apart when I am thin.Right now I am an elephant in a fat suit.I would be better off alone...a danger to society I am.But when I am thin, oh I will be so happy.It wil have all paid off.No more tiredness or dizzy spells.Thin Is In.Please tell me the truth, not what I want to hear.Tell me I am fat so that I can do something about it.Podgy rolls on my belly.Well it will be no more I say!!Paris has dropped another dress size.Posh Spice's brilliant figure after having three babies.You brought me to my knees for you darling.And in return I will be thin.No more misery.No more unwanted questions.I will be happy.Thin Is In.
The Waiting GameI sit here, motionless.Waiting for what exactly?You to come I suppose.But I know you won't, I just lie - to make it seem so.Waiting for the time to pass.Waiting for you to save me from myself.But you're only trying to take her away.And I can't let you do that.Whatever this game brings.Sorrow or Hope.Darkness or Light.I'll always be waiting in silence.Playing little games in my head.Imagining what I want it to be.A child in a grown up world.Is not what I want to see.So I trip and stumble and cut.Each an attempt in vain.To try and make you understand...Why I play the waiting game.